domesticus

Well, that time is upon us again: I am back in Spain with very few restaurants to choose from, no one to cook for me, and cold, rainy fall weather setting in. You know what that means:

cooking time!

I am already compiling a list of new recipes to try this year, including:
-blueberry muffins (that sounds easy until you realize there are no blueberries here!)
-peach cobbler
-homemade pizza (and crust, of course)
-various chicken recipes (vesuvio? marsala?)
-marinated salmon
-eggplant parmesan
-lentils!
-soup! as well as my favorite stew…mmmm
-and BREAD! all kinds of bread! homemade, kneaded-by-hand bread!!! Challah, cheese bread, grain bread, fruit bread…so many breads to choose from!
-and, as can never be forgotten….COOOOOOOKIES!

As you can see, I am very excited. Most of my cooking these days revolves around trying to create and alter recipes so that Carlos will eat them, because Carlos does not like:
-onion
-garlic (of course, anything worth eating has copious amounts of both onion AND garlic)
-pasta with holes (don’t ask why)
-seafood
-peas
-cream (which means no cream sauces, creamy dips, etc.etc.)
-almost everything else

He does like:
-aparagus (the white kind that comes pickled in cans of vinegar…yuck!)
-cheese
-artichokes (the most ridiculous, least-flavorful vegetable ever created)
-beets (need I say more?)

So, it gives me a little challenge, and an extreme sense of satisfaction when he actually likes something. Anyways, onward ho! To the kitchen, I say! Go forth and sautee!

…it’s pretty sad how much I love food.

USUALLY, I am VERY patient when it comes to bad translations and bad pronunciations. I’ve put up with “Smiles and Tears” (the Spanish translation of “The Sound of Music”), “Shit Job” (“Office Space”), and “Two Stoned Guys” (“Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle”). I’ve tried to understand Bunny Lice (Vanilla Ice), Sin Pin (Sean Penn), and Don Limpio (Mr. Clean).

HOWEVER…I have today seen the apocalyptic horse of destruction in the form of the film “Beetlejuice.” Now, “beetlejuice” is not really a word, although “beetle” and “juice” ARE words, but the understanding of this name is absolutely intrinsic to the film. Beetlejuice just wouldn’t be the same if he had any other name, such as “Worm Milk” or “Fly Sauce”. BUT, the Spaniards just don’t understand the importance of this name. As a result, they have disgracefully translated the title to (are you ready?):

….BITELCHUS.

It’s literally the Spanish pronunciation of “Beetlejuice” and there is no excuse for it. Of course, it would be hard to repeat “jugo de escarabajo” three times fast, but that’s not the point. This is one of the few cases where a liberal translation would have been welcomed, even encouraged. And instead, it is one of the (very) few cases where Spaniards try to maintain the original title, although massacred beyond recognition. I had to leave the video store when I saw that.

Spain is different.